Halloween Conumdrum
Once you have grown out of the trick-or-treating age Halloween serves one primary purpose: to allow both women and men dress up like slutty women without recourse. You know it's true.
Everyone knows dozens of women who have dressed up as a black cat (translation: black bodysuit, ample cleavage, cute tail/whiskers/ears), a hooker (enough said) or some other overtly sexy witch/maid/nurse etc. that included short skirts, high heels and more makeup than would be acceptable in any O.R. or laundry room.
Everyone also knows dozens of men who have dressed up as a girl, which includes "girlish" boobs-the-size-of-large-pumpkins, a horrid satin and lace number (nicely attired with a robust amount of chest hair for some) and clownish makeup.
When I was younger my Mom and her friends, "the Ladies," used to dress up and hit the town for a few glasses of wine and some laughs. The group had to lay down the law for one of the ladies..while they would dress up as bag ladies, tampons and Yassir Arafat, she would show up as Big Bird, in a yellow leotard and boa and yellow tights to show off her long legs, with picture perfect hair and makeup. After that, the rule was "no libidos," a word and Halloween mantra I have never forgotten.
There are a lot of considerations to take in when deciding on a Halloween costume, but for me "hotness" hasn't been a big one. It just isn't as much fun as being a little ridiculous or outrageous. Even my stint as Madonna during her blonde ambition didn't carry much libido, unless you consider tassles from my party hat bustier dunking into your drink sexy.
I'll admit, I did once dress as a dominatrix which might have sex appeal...except I was a dominatrix troll. I was particularly proud of my nod to Austin Powers with my authentic "mini-madam," a troll doll with matching flourescent orange troll hair, matching outfit, cuffs and whip. My shirt said "I do bad things" in little rhinestones, mini-madam's shirt said "I do bad things, too." Fun costume, till I had to walk home in a downpour.
But Halloween parties are also a great place for a single girl to meet lots of new people, and while outrageous is fun, some might be a little hesitant to talk to a girl who has willingly stuck dry cat food in her hair (yet it's a great costume idea! I just can't explain it til after halloween). Especially when a sexy cute black cat is talking to a mermaid (a mermaid!) on the other side of the room.
What's a girl to do on Halloween? Big Bird on crack? Slutty Laura Bush? Black cat from hell?
Does anyone have some cat food I can use?
Everyone knows dozens of women who have dressed up as a black cat (translation: black bodysuit, ample cleavage, cute tail/whiskers/ears), a hooker (enough said) or some other overtly sexy witch/maid/nurse etc. that included short skirts, high heels and more makeup than would be acceptable in any O.R. or laundry room.
Everyone also knows dozens of men who have dressed up as a girl, which includes "girlish" boobs-the-size-of-large-pumpkins, a horrid satin and lace number (nicely attired with a robust amount of chest hair for some) and clownish makeup.
When I was younger my Mom and her friends, "the Ladies," used to dress up and hit the town for a few glasses of wine and some laughs. The group had to lay down the law for one of the ladies..while they would dress up as bag ladies, tampons and Yassir Arafat, she would show up as Big Bird, in a yellow leotard and boa and yellow tights to show off her long legs, with picture perfect hair and makeup. After that, the rule was "no libidos," a word and Halloween mantra I have never forgotten.
There are a lot of considerations to take in when deciding on a Halloween costume, but for me "hotness" hasn't been a big one. It just isn't as much fun as being a little ridiculous or outrageous. Even my stint as Madonna during her blonde ambition didn't carry much libido, unless you consider tassles from my party hat bustier dunking into your drink sexy.
I'll admit, I did once dress as a dominatrix which might have sex appeal...except I was a dominatrix troll. I was particularly proud of my nod to Austin Powers with my authentic "mini-madam," a troll doll with matching flourescent orange troll hair, matching outfit, cuffs and whip. My shirt said "I do bad things" in little rhinestones, mini-madam's shirt said "I do bad things, too." Fun costume, till I had to walk home in a downpour.
But Halloween parties are also a great place for a single girl to meet lots of new people, and while outrageous is fun, some might be a little hesitant to talk to a girl who has willingly stuck dry cat food in her hair (yet it's a great costume idea! I just can't explain it til after halloween). Especially when a sexy cute black cat is talking to a mermaid (a mermaid!) on the other side of the room.
What's a girl to do on Halloween? Big Bird on crack? Slutty Laura Bush? Black cat from hell?
Does anyone have some cat food I can use?
posted by kerrymac @ 3:01 PM
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