Bartenders and Priests

This is a random conversation I had in June, 2004..so random, I couldn't help but write it down. Every bit of it is true!


"Bartenders are better than priests," said the scruffy man standing next to me at the Eastlake Zoo bar. I gave him a courtesy half-smile and continued to try and catch the bartender's eye so I could order two Coronas and get back to my dart game. The sooner the better.

"Even so," he continued, "I still need to go to confession this Sunday. I've had a hard week." He then launched into a story that began in downtown Seattle with "the third best-looking woman in town." For reasons that weren't clear to me, he had had an altercation with a man and crushed his skull.

"You crushed his skull?" I asked. The bartender approached and I ordered my beer.

"Yep. Crushed his skull."

"Did you kill him?"

"No."

"Seems to me if you crush someone's skull, you'd likely kill him."

"Well his life will never be the same. Now I must go to confession."

"Well, you'll be doing a lot of Hail Marys this Sunday," I said.

"Eh, I'm going to hell."

With that, I wished him good luck, tipped the bartender and went to the back of the bar to play darts.